The pictures that Aqsa Parvez posted on Facebook, are so removed and different from the reality that this young woman was living. Allegations of abuse at home, a cultural clash over traditional dress. We should all weep for such a bright star that has been so cruelly taken. We should weep for them all.
But what I would like to talk about today are cultural norms and expectations that are placed on Women and girls, all over the world. Subjugation, pain, suffering, all foisted on them from the prevailing culture.
In Cameroon, girls suffer through what is called "breast ironing."
Breast ironing is a form of body modification practiced in parts of Cameroon. Pubescent girls' breasts are flattened, usually by their mother,in an attempt to make them less sexually attractive to men. This practice is believed to help prevent rape and early marriage. Grinding stones, pestles, belts, heated objects and breast bands are used to press or beat down the forming breasts. Local non-governmental organizations are trying to call attention to this practice and stop it.
Its pretty easy to react in horror, as it is a shameful cruel thing. Just know that many mothers do this to protect their daughters in their own misguided, twisted way. I read of one case where a girl in Cameroon asked to have her breasts pounded, the tissues destroyed. She decided to suffer the Horrific pain and suffering, so that she could continue to go to school. That story still makes me gasp.
Why these mothers and girls do it, is a reaction to the prevailing culture of men.
In many other countries of the world,FGM is still practiced.
Female genital mutilation (FGM), often referred to as 'female circumcision', comprises all procedures involving partial or total removal of the external female genitalia or other injury to the female genital organs whether for cultural, religious or other non-therapeutic reasons. There are different types of female genital mutilation known to be practised today.
This practice has no noble intentions. WHO lists the reasons given by families for practicing this barbaric mutilation.
The reasons given by families for having FGM performed include:
psychosexual reasons: reduction or elimination of the sensitive tissue of
the outer genitalia, particularly the clitoris, in order to attenuate sexual desire in the female, maintain chastity and virginity before marriage and fidelity during marriage, and increase male sexual pleasure;
sociological reasons: identification with the cultural heritage, initiation of girls into womanhood, social integration and the maintenance of social cohesion;
hygiene and aesthetic reasons: the external female genitalia are considered dirty and unsightly and are to be removed to promote hygiene and provide aesthetic appeal;
myths: enhancement of fertility and promotion of child survival;
religious reasons: Some Muslim communities, however, practise FGM in the
belief that it is demanded by the Islamic faith. The practice, however, predates Islam.
See that part I highlighted? It is not a religious practice, it is a practice demanded by the prevailing culture of men. it is a deadly practice to women themselves who die of infections or during childbirth, it can also can kill babes that cannot be born in time because the mothers body is so mutilated and deformed.
In other countries mostly still under the shadow of Sharia rule, women are stoned to death if they have been found to have committed adultery. That also includes being raped. Raped by one, raped by many. No matter, women are always to blame. Men are weak, and cannot be held accountable.
Stoning is typically a punishment for adultery, although it can also be used for cases of incest and other sexual or "moral" crimes. Typically, a stoning victim is first wrapped in cloth and buried up to the waist for men, or up to
the chest for females. Then the crowd is to throw stones at the victim. However, it is very important that, "... no stone should be thrown that should kill with the first or second blow, or so small as a pebble to do no injury to the condemned." (Hulagu's Web, 64) Stoning is a unique form of punishment in that there is no single executioner. The simplistic act of gathering the victim’s peers around him creates killers out of everyone.
Today, stoning is only practiced in Islamic culture in order to maintain the submission of its women and those in the lower cast. Only those impoverished or socially unimportant are punished by stoning. This barbaric act parallels those of the 4th century Theodosius who punished those who did not share his religious views. He ordered all non-Christian temples be destroyed and that all heathens be executed unless they convert. His decree now lives on in the hands of religious Islamic tyrants that now employ the brutal act of stoning. These acts of barbarism and violence far outweigh the moral transgression of those condemned
This practice, is demanded by the prevailing culture of men and the religious doctrines, written by men.
The Saudi Justice Ministry announced that a girl gang raped by seven men and then sentenced to six months prison and 200 lashes for adultery had confessed to cheating on her husband, in its latest response to the negative international reaction to the incident. The statement, which was carried by the Saudi Press Agency late on Saturday, confirmed that the flogging sentence against the rape victim would be carried out and condemned foreign interference.
Saudis: Rape victim deserved flogging for adultery
Women in many countries are raped and used as part of "war strategies".
Sexual violence as a weapon of war
Sorry, I can't read that one. It's up you to go to the link if you choose. Rape during war or occupation can be from several things; badly trained and rogue soldiers, and also to cause a shift in morale, and to shame a whole culture.
For Iraqi women, Abu Ghraib's taint
Again, based on the prevailing culture of men.
I could continue this list, but I won't. We all know that these stories are truth and that this list could go on for days.
But before we feel all smug and superior in our "free" Western society?
Living in a sex-saturated society we are used to seeing the image of women cheapened. But baby dolls who know how to "flaunt" their sexuality? Provocative underwear for little girls, and "pole dancing" kits for them to entertain their families and friends with suggestive moves - and be paid in play dollars for it? If we care about children the time has come to put a stop to this ugly trend, says Melinda Tankard Reist, founding director of Women's Forum Australia and editor of its new report on women's magazines, Faking It. In this interview with MercatorNet she calls for a new global movement of women and girl advocacy.
We, as a society are bombarded with sexual images, young girls and women starve themselves to death in a deluded attempt for control over any aspect of their lives, we hear loudmouths constantly telling us that some women who are raped, asked for it.
Some would hold lifesaving information and attend disgusting "purity balls" so that their daughters can be handed directly from their father's to their new owner,the husband.
The majority of the girls here are, as purity ball guidelines suggest, "just old enough...to have begun menstruating...." But a couple dozen fathers have also brought girls under 10. "This evening is more about spending time with her than her purity at this point," says one seven-year-old’s dad, a trifle sheepishly. The event is seemingly innocent—not once do I hear "sex" or "virgin" cross anyone’s lips. Still, every one of the girls here, even the four-year-old, will sign that purity covenant.
Are we equal financially?
Census 2001 average income figures
Average for all Canadian men: $36,865
Visible minority men: $28,929
Men with disabilities: $26,890
Average for all Canadian women: $22,885
Aboriginal men: $21,958
Visible minority women: $20,043
Women with disabilities: $17,230
Aboriginal women: $16,519
We still are fighting the battle for control over our own bodies, uphill because there are those that would also not let women and girls know how to not get pregnant.
Boys will be boys, after all. Girls will be quiet and docile. "Girl Power" often is portrayed in such a way as to make damned sure that it includes lots of cleavage and butt shots.
And before anyone goes all crazy on me here, I am not condemning all men. I know there are many enlightened souls of the masculine gender. And I am grateful that although change is slow, there is change. My Tar brush is not all encompassing.
So.
Aqsa Parvez was probably murdered by her father because of some "cultural" battle. (the 911 tape has a man saying he had killed his daughter)
Culture? Yes. The prevailing culture of men. The only way to change this? Is to change the prevailing culture Worldwide to a culture of humanity.
I have three beautiful daughters, I won't accept anything less for them.
Light a candle for Aqsa Parvez, and all the women of the world.
We are not even close to done yet.
Crossposted at A Creative Revolution
